Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
