am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
