You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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