she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I could have mohawked her pubes.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
