trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I am naked and annoyed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
