called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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