My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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