oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
