I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
