it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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