I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
