We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
one two three fourrrrnication!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
