Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
