It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think i got beer on your cat.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
