Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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