I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My vagina is officially offended.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
