Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
