Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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