Having a random hookup so left but love u
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
