Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
