She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
