She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think my vagina is haunted
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
dude. I can hear the air.
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