If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
