there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
