I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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