i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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