I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?