HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
