from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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