i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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