I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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