So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
