OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
