so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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