I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize