i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
