anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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