Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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