Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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