:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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