so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
