I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I stole a fireplace last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
