I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
