I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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