Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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