it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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