Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
