I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
