So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
