its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
