Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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