Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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