ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
