Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
