i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
