He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm sobbing to NWA
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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