ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
