If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
