Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
